the meter maids proudly present to you the midway awards for the fifa world cup

the award for "OH!!! it must be a compound fracture!!! oh wait, no im ok now." goes to...
its a draw between iran and mexico
i havent seen this much writhing and squirming since gaia ate some raw chicken skin out of the trash when she was a puppy. we should bomb the shit out of both of them. show them real pain, as you notice the japanese dont cry when brushed up against anymore. no disrespect, but the japanese know pain.

the "maybe you should find a new career then" award goes to...
bobby convey us midfielder
after a piss poor performance against the czechs, convey said no one on the US squad was sure what their jobs were on the pitch. hows about this for a job, run, pass, shoot, score. i figured that one out when i was 5. good luck in the english premier league next year bobby, ive got a feeling youre gonna need it.

the " hey, we'd probably win this shit if our country wasnt raped and pillaged by the portugese" award goes to...
angola
those cute angolans with their pop and click language had been sold into slavery for hundreds of years by the ports, thereby shortening the talent pool. poor angolans.

the "how can i become more annoying" award goes to...
shep messing
holy shit! if i wanted to hear dick vitale, id petition to have him do the games. SHUT UP!!! id rather listen to jp dellacamara. now thats low.