85 degrees outside. its april. awesome. happy earth day!

the common worker bee is disappearing in alarming rates. its called colony collapse disorder and it started in the north east of america sometime last fall. its now spreading throughout europe, causing almond prices to shoot through the roof. almonds... easily the least of our concerns.
while this has occured before, mainly in the sixties, never has it occurred as rapidly as its occurring now. within weeks the once thriving hives are completely barren, with only the queens and immature workers remaining.
possible causes for this epidemic are GM crops. crops with genetic modifications inside the actual plant that have internal pesticides embedded in the plants genes. yummy. new nicotine based pesticides might also be the cause. i have noticed many more bees loitering by convenience stores and bars lately. the scariest idea though is this- cell phone usage. yes thats right. cell phones. it seems that bees dont appreciate our need to blather on about inconsequential bullshit at any given moment and any given spot as much as we do. cell phone frequencies tend to knock bees off their little flight paths, disorienting them to the degree that they can not find their hive. so remember this when you call your friends to alert them to this frightening new piece of information.
could it be that the world will end due to our need for convenience? definitely. when though, when?
december 21. 2012.
mark it down.
until then, stock up on almonds, blueberries, and honey.
in the words of the genius poet Short Round- "hang on radie, we goin fo a lide!"
go ahead. google this shit, ive done the research.