theres no way i could do this any longer
is what i said to her
its just not in me to develop or foster a burgeoning relationship
anything more than friendship, or the idea of it, makes me physically ill
as this person you thought i was
or this person that you so hoped i was
is not at all the person who sits in front of you
and i think you deserve to know that
its as simple as this
all those little tiny bags that i was born with
have grown exponentially in the past two years
and it seems that theyve slowed me to a minimal growth pace
so i say to you now
until i sort out the contents of the luggage i carry constantly
there can be no additions to the foundations that ive had to rebuild for myself.
and im sorry.

and this is all i would have told you
had i any words that could possibly leak through these
tightly pursed lips.
but instead ill sit quietly
and nod with approval
and not hear a word that comes out of your mouth
or see a tear that drops from your eye
as i slowly pull my face away from your own.