its friday! and another shift at work has passed through me like an 8 hour mental enema. a quick drive and im at my usual friday dive, collecting my usual chair amongst my unusual usuals. mike is drunk, and wanting to give his phone number to some hipster looking broad who can barely stand on her own two chuck taylors, "thank god i got here when i did dude," i tell him. "A- guys dont give their numbers to girls man. B- that girl doesnt even know her own number to give to you right now. C- just go make out with her for god's sake." i explain to him. so he begins to approach her, and just as he does the girl in question begins to stick her fingers into nicks mouth, nick who sits three chairs to my left in the circle of madness. as this girl uses her fingers like an oral speculum on nicks face, i see mike's face turn into that distorted drunken mess that usually accompanies many a mans face friday nights at the lobster shanty. that silly little horror show that says, "but she was mine!!! fuck!!! why isnt she stretching out my cheeks with her fingers??!!!!" and the answer is always too simple for the drunken minded to grasp, its because you spent all your night fawning over your half empty glass as opposed to enjoying the half full patio of new faces and interesting possibilities.

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