started drinking again
i dont know why
literally pissing money away
like a drunken sailor my mother would say
without a pot to piss in my father would tell me
like its my job my sister would remind

always some excuse for a celebration
always cause for lazing away
a perfectly good day

i lie in bed
bullshitting myself
thinking this cant be all there is
as gaia looks at me
wanting to go out
and i beg her not to make me go
as "out" is where i always seem to be