now that ive got fox soccer channel ill be posting my grades on the us soccer matches more often... like anyone cares, but really, to hell with it. ive always wanted to do this. so without freddie adu i present-

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER WRITTEN ON THIS SITE!!! MY OPINION

kasey keller- c- the goal wasnt really his fault. and neither were the hospital passes in the first 10 minutes that led him to be bowled over by canadian strikers. but i just never got that sure handed feeling from him today.

jonathan bornstein- c- too often does he want to get up top and make himself offensively available leaving his mark open to terrorize the left flank. much rather have seen jonathan spector. besides- is he jewish??? jews dont play soccer. at least not well.

carlos bocanegra- c- always there when you need him. never there when we need him. tends to confuse his roll in england as a goalscoring threat to the one here. stay the fuck at home dude.

oguchi onyewu- c+ too big for everyone on the pitch. especially the refs.

frankie hejduk- b- his tackling has never been a problem, neither has his love for getting into opposing players heads. good goal scored yesterday as well. but his crosses are the stuff of legend. they could ward off vampires, and that aint right. eddie lewis he isnt coming up the flanks. good goal though.

pablo mastroeni- c i couldnt believe that after he took a cheap shot 70 minutes in on a dead ball that he didnt at some point in the game take his boots off and smash his cleats into someones face. he's an animal, and integral to any success this team has.

michael bradley- c- the youngest man on the roster, the coaches kid, played much better today then all previous caps combined. he's got talent, he just needs to adjust. ( and we need bobby convey to get healthy so we wont have to let him adjust )

demarcus beasley- b- really taking strides to becoming that disruptive force he once was. if he can get over the fact that he's constantly going to take a beating due to his lack of size, then he'll return to form. its all about confidence with him. right now he's got it. and would a steady diet of pizza hurt him? put some weight on dude.

landon donovan- d+ where the hell was he? i think they subbed him on to take the PK. then off. then back on to whiff on what would have been the game clinching goal. still, he is this team, nowhere without him.

eddie johnson- c- he's way too fast to not get involved deeper in the midfield. he could own this game if it werent for...

clint dempsey- d+ playing out of position. this guy is not a controlling forward, he doesnt have the size. he's a midfielder. plain and simple. but with not a whole lot of options available since brian mcbride has retired from international soccer ( a huge mistake in my opinion ) i guess he's our best bet. clint dempsey is the future of american soccer, he makes the game look easy, sometimes too easy, as he gets lazy- like he did yesterday- but kids will idolize this guy for years. too bad he's out of position due to...

bob bradley(coach)- g- can you go lower than an f??? yes. bradley is a lame duck, he's technically retarded, and if we dont beat mexico on sunday hopefully soon out as coach. who the fuck replaces forwards when we're leading by a 2-0 margin???? he does. so when it becomes 2-1 and we lose a defender due to red card ( read: his son) we now have one option left. replace our defensive disrupter with an unproven one. if not for a bullshit offsides call in the last 3 seconds of the game we would have lost due to his lack of understanding the substitution system. defenders when we're ahead. forwards when we're behind. ugh.

subs:
taylor twellman- d- he's that rich kids son who always got to play because daddy bought the team new balls and cones. i like his drive. i hate his finishing. he can only shoot if he's two feet from goal.

benny feilhaber- inc. cant give him a grade as he went to ucla and probably never recieved them in college. why start now. i gave him lots of looks though. most of them ugly..

ricardo clark- inc. cant give him a grade either as he might have touched the ball once while in. should have come in earlier though for dempsey.

subs not used:

tim howard- should have started. unless he was having a serious turrets attack. then he should have been mic'd.

jay demerit- should have been subbed in for pablo. this kid is a beast.

frankie simek- already had one frankie on the field. two is WAY too gay.

justin mapp- probably would have come in for bradley except he decided to make the worst slide tackle ever seen, thereby getting him tossed from the game.


man of the match. beasley. his passes were crisp, he attacked the canadian defense (two words youll never see juxtaposed outside of hockey context ever) with fervor, and came back on defense nicely.