why does my vegas weekend sound nothing at all like bill simmons'???

-"satan sleeps in las vegas, and he's an insomniac."-

some drive out for the weekend, some go to their respective roof-top condos, others (like myself) muster all their loose change, smashing their piggy banks with sledgehammers, in order to survive the longest weekends of their lives. the weekend in the american dubai, las vegas.
bill simmons most recent page two article on espn.com recounts his 48 hours spent in that den of sin, the same 48 hour stretch that i was there for a weekend wedding, and in it he splashes about playfully in the 110 degree sun, playing outdoor craps games at the wynn, eating fancy sushi at Japanaise, and regailing us with stories of drunken velvet cougars and their love of their newly paid for boobs. i too saw these things, but from a distance that mr. simmons could never understand.
i saw the wynn in all its majestic bronzed glory, i saw the velvety cougars in their bronzed glory as well, the same restaurants, the same unforgiving sun. the major difference is this- las vegas doesnt open its doors fully unless you have the money to make those doors swing wide. the town is the ultimate in american excess. the ultra rich seemingly brushing shoulders with the ultra destitute...seemingly...but it never actually happens as such. the wealthy have their own entrances and exits, their own private part of the city, their own sections of the clubs, their own gambling rooms, their own paradise. their own shangri-la. never once do you actually see them, unless of course they want you to. and even then, its all for promotional purposes. its like high school in beverly hills i would imagine, or more aptly like living in washington d.c. the apple blossoms dont grow in the hood, but the hood can smell them, and enjoy the sense of pride knowing theyre there.
there is a reason they call it sin city. in order for you to fully enjoy it, you need to commit many. its obvious being from wellesly MA that mr. simmons has certainly committed his fair share.


(that is why i read real sports blogs, like withleather.com or deadspin.com or the offsides.com. espn has lost touch with its supporters and it shows mostly in its website. ultimately that is why i cancelled my cable and now receive the fox soccer channel almost exclusively. i for one stick my tongue out at you espn, and raise my middle finger to stuart scott and the rest of your ego-maniacal sportscasters. max bretos here i come!) yay parenthesis!!!