better to die on your feet than to live on your knees

what kind of "man" rechecks his text messages for hidden innuendo's
or slipped by mis-understandings
or grammatical errors?
this kind i suppose
this small little neurotic wide eyed emotionally narcoleptic "man"
the kind that worries about rip tides during night swims
or of strange algae diseases while pond swimming
the one who checks his alarm four times before being able to slumber
semi-peacefully
i swear-
i think i was mishandled at the hospital during birth
the nurses confused me with another baby
i know im jewish
ive got all the internal sensibilities


so yeah
im tired
and i know im in need of a good nights rest
but i cant sleep knowing this-
that you are only a short distance away
and you should be here
lying next to me
comforted by this comforter
and warmed by this heart-
that very same heart that needs to recite its own cadence
over and over again until it feels comfortable
playing its rhythm publicly

so i ask again
what kind of "man" is this?
and the answer is simple plain and clear
the romantic kind
the kind that over-thinks
due to severe heart trauma suffered in the past
the kind that refuses to let past sufferings impede future romantic potentiality
and THAT...
is the kind of "man" that i can be proud to be
the "man" who sticks his head into the lions mouth for the mere thought of possibility
as opposed to the "guy"
who sticks his head in the sand
for fear of rejection.