whatever happened to john norris?

you know john norris? that earringed lookie lou from old school mtv news?
you know the one who would fawn and drool over such bands as
the new kids on the block
or bell biv devoe
devote entire portions of his life to michael jackson. both in terms of fashion and in political affiliations.
wax poetic about the guitar stylings of nuno bettencourt from Exxxtreme.
( i spell that bands name with three x's. if they had done the same they would have been seen as the american beatles. instead gary left the band, replaced some other dude in van halen, and now shops in the trader joe's in danvers MA, along with the elderly and the cougarly. what a waste. )
and would praise janet jackson's rhythm nation as the proudest album in the history of music?
john norris was born a simple man in houston texas in 1959.
thats right 19fifty-fuckin-nine!
that would place him at 30 years old when he was praising such works as the new kids
late 30's early 40's when he was riding that Nsync high that swept across the prepubescent landscape of america in the 2000's.
anyway- i have three points.
1- yet another reason to hate Mtv. over paid, over grown, out of touch, star struck, high school journalists telling hundreds of millions of kids what their version of cool is. thats not my idea of a good time. dressing up like some Dorchester prick from 1984. my coife appearing as though i'd just gotten into a scissor fight with a "stylist" at fantastic sams. my arms and legs working independently of each other in semi rhythmic pulsations and calling it choreography. ugh.
2- how has he not been arrested for pedophilia yet? what 30 year old single male do you know that listens to hannah montana? the jonas brothers? hillary duff? and fucking tells people about it?!!?...exactly. only the perv's. and if you actually do know anyone that fits that musical description, than i implore you to do the right thing and notify the police immediately. cuz ill bet you money they live within a mile of a grade school.
3- why hasnt he sued perez hilton for copyright infringement yet? john norris was the OG tabitha tabloid on Mtv. if you wanted the straight news you'd got to kurt loder. the fancier side of music was covered by norris. kurt cobain shoot himself in the face?..( allegedly)- loder's on it.
donnie from the new kids punch an elevator in boston?-norris is totally there. did jewel pen a piece of shit rag of poetry?- loder's up her ass about it. did jewel pen a piece of shit rag of poetry?- norris is powdering his pussy in anticipation of the interview. first question- what was it like living in a van? now we've got perez hilton for the candy, sway for the urban pieces, and gideon yago for the news that young white people care about. all three of these people's names are made up. and no one cares.

fuck you john norris. next up kennedy. god i hate Mtv of the late 20th century.